May hope ring true

Weekend! ok it is officially over when i am typing this but really really glad that the weekends are here after a long week in school. Went to changi village for dinner today, nice affordable food downed 2.5 bowls of rice, although brother ate more. Friendly boss too. The trip there made me realised something. Lately, i've taken to falling asleep in my dad's car whenever the journey takes a slightly longer duration ( e.g. bishan to pasir ris ). Slept on the way there and on the way back. Is this a sign that i am not getting enough sleep? Should be. I could cut down on all my slackiness and procastinating and frivolous time wasting and get my work done to sleep early, but then life would be a dead bore wouldnt it. Ah well, see if i still keep on falling asleep in my dad's car ( like every morning on the way to school, not tomorrow though, we start late ), not forgetting tutorials and lectures. More of the latter though.

A levels is soo close and my maths is still in shit. I reckon ( not being arrogant or boasting here ) i can settle my lack of knowledge in physics and chemistry if i utilise a couple of days or a week for some full time studying closer to the exams, but not for maths. Considering i know close to nuts for vectors, complex numbers, integration and recurrance. Maths NEEDS practice, lots and lots of them. Not one of my strong points. Even skipped the maths test on vectors and complex numbers last week. Btw, thanks to yc and ykm for settle up the class forum. Will inject some lively crap in there if i am free ^_^

Brazil under-23s playing Singapore today evening. Channel 5 better show it or i'll start boycotting it. The match wasnt in the program lineup for today in the lifestyle section of the straits times today. I need to do more running, but worried about the after effects. Everytime after i ran, i'll be dead exhausted mentally and physically, and everytime i ran i went home and did 0 schoolwork, but i like the thrill of finishing a good long hard 10km or more. Something random here, Garrett mentioned that during his AJ leadership camp last year, they walked from AJ to sembawang beach ( or park? ). Vaguely remember visiting that place when i was young. It is like one of the most peaceful and quiet places in Singapore i think. Hope to visit there maybe after the A levels, anybody interested? feels weird to go there alone. Oh and west coast park too. The memories of LTC lingers. I seriously feel that us young people and over visiting East Coast, Pasir Ris beach or even sentosa, ignoring the hidden sites of serenity like those mentioned above. Maybe i could organise a small trek from mount faber to NUS via the newly opened ( this year ) southern ridges trail, but its a wee bit congested. That will be all, my nice warm bed beckons.

hope stays

-We can't change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand.
-I'll take an earnest person over a hip person any day, because hip is short term, earnest is long term
-Better to fail spectacularly than do something mediocre
- Randy Pausch, Last Lecture, as quoted by the newpaper

Hopeless confusion

Weekly roundup. Had a soccer game on saturday morning kindly organised by mings, against enson's team. Fun game, no pressure. drew 3-3 but won on penalties. All 3 of our goals conceded were abit to the soft side. Finally joe managed to finish my cross off with a header that went into a goal, or should it be 'finally, my cross managed to end up getting put into the net by someone heading in'. i scored my penalty too :D, although it somehow dragged until everyone in our team had a chance to take it. Benedict pulled off 3 saves in a roll, and mings fittingly won the game. The touch ruggers was probably simmering at us by then because we were hogging up the field and depriving them of it for their testimonial game.

Nothing much eventful for the week, john joined me for running on tuesday, haha keep on training dude, with your body, you are capable of alot more. Ran 11.2k on the school track. Weirdly both my foot ( not legs ) went numb after around 5km, couldnt feel anything and just pounded on. Is it supposed to mean something?

Signed up for Standard Chartered Singapore Marathon 2008 yesterday, for the full 42.195km distance because i am finally 18. Kwek signed up too. hey guys prepare to visit me in hospital that day alrights. Nike run registration closed too. So for the remaining 8 people from our class who have been procastinating and not sign up, TOO BAD. There goes my evil plans for making the nike run shirt our new class shirt for 2008. Brazil arrived yesterday too, U-16 tickets sold out, ( had a scheme.... ) good grief, most likely staying at home and watch.

Got back my result slip today ( note, this following content are not meant to suan anyone or be a fail pretender or whatever ) passed everything =). Had quadruple Es and double Ds. Everything except maths is above cohort average. One weird trend, my GP including this mid years have been stuck at the 85-87% band constantly for the past 4 tests/ exams i remembered from and including the promos, got to improve. Surprisingly annis was our class only representative for the awards ( good progress award ) for the mid year exams, congrats. Our class was overall 4th or 5th ( cant remember ) in level rankings. To quote kwek ( modified abit ) " people like us are responsible for the passing rate, notthe distinction rate, that one leave to top 4 ". Derby county is officially 12th from bottom haha. Newcastle is slightly above relegation zone. ooo scary. remains to be seen if it can be sustained.

Can pigs fly? Monsters need chances

The heart has its reason of which reason knows nothing - Pascal

Cherry pickings

I am so darn tired and i still have to contend with this. Extremely irritated at some people now. If you ever give someone your word, you are expected to be held to it. You do not back out at the last instant because of some frivolous reason. The irony that it was not my responsibility in the 1st place. If i didnt have my contacts, we will all be screwed yea. Needs to be more organised. When i talk to someone, i treat them as an individual, i do not care if you have a bf/gf or ur mom beside you or whatever, but you do not involve them in this. It is a personal matter, do not be an idiot. Grr, havent been so pissed in a long time. I dont mean sadness, being disappointed or 'emo'. I refer to pure unadulterated anger. Could tear someone apart now.

I need to improve, its not fast enough. Top 200, gonna push my body through hell, if anything goes wrong, so be it.

I still have to wake up early tomorrow morning, haiz, where is the justice in this.

my chance is not within my means, alone

( too tired to source for quotes )

It will find a way

NS checkup today, got PES A, certified fit for everything, and they didnt find any irregularities with me so shall continue to go and do all those crazy stuff that me and my classmates have signed up for. It was quite efficient really, but maybe some people could have been friendlier? ( mentioning this because they asked us to fill in a survey form at practically every station ). Oh and my hair will look horrid in my NS identification card. Been busy lately so pardon the tardy updates. Surprisingly jc was found to have some heart condition, so he is given PES D status pending further checks, scary. A couple of us went to vivo after that to watch 'the dark knight'. Nice show ( although i still prefer red cliff ) where the characters try to play around with people's psychology, interesting, but in terms of pure action cant beat the 1st movie. So 2 great movies in which the characters are intellectually stimulating in 1 week.

As for the joker, yea masterful performance but i think all the accolates that the critiques have been pouring into him are abit over-exaggerated, but bless heath ledger, somewhere in heaven now, managed to really bring out the maniac from the villian.

Saw real madrids 08-09 jersey at the vivo adidas store, retailing for $99. Looks great, finally they got rid of those purple stripes from last season and replaced them with black ones. Added a collar too. If i get a sudden winfall, that is one of the 1st on my agenda, haha although i currently need like 2 pair of shorts.. and a NEW crumpler. Shall test out the adizeros tomorrow.

please, let hope ring true

He stopped, for saying the truth aloud was unendurable. He knew now why this tranquil life seemed like an after-life or a dream unreal. It was because that he knew in his heart that reality was empty: without life or warmth or colour sound: without meaning. There were no heights or depths. All this lovely play of form and light and colour on the sea and in the eyes of men, was no more than that: a playing of illusions on the shallow void - Ursula K. Le Guin, The Farthest Shore

____

Went out today with Kel, nick, yang, jaren, gab and yang to celeb yang's bday. Went to intercontinental hotel at bugis junction to have lunch/ high tea. Cost me 35 bucks, argh big BIG hole in my wallet. Probably burnt right through my pocket as well. Nevertheless it was fun, and full of crap. Their cheese cakes and ebiko tastes great. i think their ebiko trashes sakae haha. Did not really stuff myself this time, so 35 bucks was abit of a waste. Their tea isnt bad too. The staff there were immaculate, and VERY VERY professional/ observant. Pleasant experience dining there. I asked for a spoon because my spoon was cleared together with my plate, and the waitress seeing that i was having soup brought me a soup spoon, promptly received our desert spoons and teas with a smile when we asked too.

Went arcade at bugis after that, lost at stage 1 for time crisis 4 ( on 1 coin ) despite pairing with kel. We both lost. 1st time this has happened in a long long time. Lack practice, used to be able to complete the game in 2 coins. After that, all 6 of us went to some machine where u throw balls at the screen and are suposed to hit some of the graphics. Tons of fun haha, 6 guys spamming stuff at a console, managed to get a 2nd place for highscore. Yang named us as chibaii -_-".

Went to watch red cliff at bishan with yang, nick, kel and stella. Like finally, that yang brought his gf along ( wahhaha so i got my wish in the end ). Nice show, its a chinese epic movie. Itwas entralling watching the characters pit their mental wits against each other, and the battle scenes were bloody and great action. The scenery was gorgeous too. Ancient china never looked more beautiful. There are a few commedy moments thrown in too with good effect, mainly revolving around 'zhuge liang' haha, watch it and you'll know what i mean. give it a 4 out of 5. Disagree with the straits times review that said the scenes between the 2 battles were a bore. It developes the story fuller and it is those moments which makes this film more than just a hack and slash movie. Watch it, it is good ( 1st time i am promoting a chinese movie lol ). Part 2 out at the end of the year. Its soundtrack is great too!

A wanting, but not a reaping

How a person masters his fate is more important than what his fate is - Wilhelm von Humboldt

Losing

Sometimes, I lose myself

and i dont know what i want

even if i do want something

i lose the ability to get it

it is a lingering absence

played louder all the more by faint whispers

why?

Today's yesterday

I got straight Es for my H2s, and E also ( for the bloody 1st time in my life in JC ) for my compre on the dot. For the H2s, neutral about my grades, it isnt really that bad, physics and chem are above cohort average and i passed maths for the 1st time this year. Then again it isnt really good either. Do i really want to be an average achiever when A levels comes round, i guess not. Some ex student that came to give a short talk yesterday scored DUU for her H2s during her mid years and yet still managed to get into SMU law school. There is more than hope, there is a possibility, a chance for me. As for GP, its going crazily downhill. Something is wrong somewhere, and i WILL find out and knock it back into shape.

After experiencing the 1st day of the extended timetable, and also my earliest day at 5pm, it was sleep inducing, was sleeping through chem, boring stuff going through papers. I'll have to somehow survive 5 days and more of these. Someone out there, start praying for me. Recently in school ( meaning yesterday and today ) i cant seem to get full on whatever i eat during my breaks. Had a bowl of noodles yesterday and a pau, not full. Had noodles today and pau again ( different noodles ) also not full. Dont want to seem greedy by ordering 2 bowls or another plate of rice haha. The portions looks to be shrinking, my stomache can feel it and it wants more.

Something way cool read 'my paper'' online version today and found out that the RSAF is considering buying up to 100 F-35 lightning 2 when it becomes available. Awesome airplane, trashes the F-15s and F-16s. If the black knights acrobatics team switches over to F-35s then their sequences could potentially be way cooler, due to the increased capability of the F-35. Although i cant help feeling that raptors are still more advanced than the F-35. I could be wrong.

Took issue with the answers for one of the physics mcq question. Apparently the annual migration of birds are NOT circular motion. I got the question correct but felt that 2 answers are possible. If you take into the account that the earth is a sphere then if a bird migrates from one part to another it should follow a curved path with the acceleration directed to the centre of the earth. The term ' constant velocity ' in the question also does not contradict this point. Velocity is relative to the observer. In this case, the velocity can be said to be constant relative to an observer following the curvature of the earth but that does not say that the bird may not be performing circular motion when viewed from just about anywhere else in the universe. As for the distance, "Some Bar-tailed Godwits have the longest non-stop flight of any migrant, flying 11,000 km to their New Zealand non-breeding areas (BTO News 258: 3, 2005).' as quoted from wikipedia. Compare this to the earth, which has a circumference of approximately 40,000km, the bird would have travelled the length of more than a quadrant of the earth's circumference, making circular motion having an appreciable effect on the bird's path. If the bird travelled along a straight line path it would have covered about 9000km, compare this with the 11,000km mentioned above, and also note the word 'non stop'. So this should be circular motion.

A monument to my sins

The touchstone of goodness is to own one's defeat even to inferiors - Valluvar Tirukkural: 786

Woozy

Alcohol makes you think stuff, stuff that you never thought possible, or stuff that you wished were possible. Gosh, why oh why

Emphathisment

( not sure if the title is a proper word )

Yea, jc was right, havent slept 8 hours in any day at all since the mid years ended. Badminton with the class guys on friday. Fun enthusiastic ( to the best of their abilities ) bunch of people, not forgetting guai lan. Sweated it out from 11 to 2. Won some, lost some haha. Someone remind me to go play with caro and her dad after the A levels, then my standards will go up. Ahh speaking of which. Looking forward to sakae on monday, ages since i've been there. Last time was with class after promos. Compare this with sec 4 where sakae was visited at a frequency of almost once per month lol. Had soccer this morning with amos friend. Abit screwed up haha ( not refering to amos friends ). My form is GONE, horrendous. Something sucked it out of me, got that very irritated tugging feeling, maybe i am irritated at myself. My street vapors which are hideously vandalised over the course of usage now has a 'mouth' the rubber sole and the shoe is close to seperating. I need new shoes, and new running shoes too. Tore a hole in them on wednesday. 2nd pair of adizer ruined within 2 years. Well done. Going to cost.

New timetable is out. Ultimate suckiness, including remedials, the earliest day i have is 5, and i have 3 days ending at 6.15pm, and i am confirm down for the remedials given my performance. Something random, the moon looks crisp tonight. Grandma's house tomorrow, ubin shelved. Will not have my 8 hours again, soccer tomorrow at 10. Off for bed.

Show a sign
flash a beam of hope
saturate an empty shell
glimmering shimmering madness

Doubt, indeed, is the disease of this inquisitive, restless age. It is the price we pay for our advanced intelligence and civilization. It is the dim night of our resplendent day. But as the most beautiful light is born of darkness, so the faith which springs from conflict is often the strongest and the best. - Robert Turnbull

Nonsensical rubbish

Ok its over. Its been feeling over since tuesday anyway, to quote ykm 'i dont even think you started' haha, sums it up. Ms Yau messaged the class sayign paper 1 was badly done and wants us to redo, foreshadowing further slaughter perhaps. I did not put in a struggle, just went meekly into the night. Not a good effort, never an enough effort. Ahh, but the hopelessness of it all is galvanising, it spurs beacons of hope, visions of glory and the courage to go and take what is yours.

Went home after school and basketball, then went out with the usual gang from class ( amos, yc, ykm, kwek, gab, jc, hh, wh, wl - gh ). 1st went to meet jc, ykm, yc and amos at mind's cafe as they did not play basketball and had a round of mona lisa game with them, finished 1st runner up. Not bad for a 1st try. Went over to cathay at 6 and as usual everyone was late together ( the people at mind's cafe anticipated the lateness of the group that is arriving and so we went at 6 instead of the agreed 5.30 ). Went to adidas, possibly found a replacement for the adizer that i tore a small hole in today. Heart pain sia. Just so happens that it is the one that jc wants. Think i am getting the one with slack and silver stripes and him the blue, although i prefer if there are brighter colours. Played Euro 2008 on the xbox 360 console there, 1st with jc ( of course win, what can you expect lol ) then with kwek, lost to him 4-3 after extra time. 2 trends continued. 1) Our matches always have mimimum of 3 goals on at least one side. 2) I LOST TO HIM BY 1 GOAL AGAIN, lost count of the number of times already, i think a few more, will hit double digits, nevermind, tomorrow i shall try to extract revenge.

Went to watch hancock. A nice movie, real nice front part but it tapered down abit. 1st movie in a long long time. The twist was weird to say the least, it is jarring to flow of the film. Anyway, got a few comedy moments especially the parts about putting things inside something else. Will not be vulgar here haha. Suits our class's theme/ atmosphere/ behavior. Its 1 and a half hours long, abit too short for my liking but we paid 6 bucks so no complaints. Debated for awhile ( nothing ever gets done in 0713 without a minimum of a couple of minutes worth of debates and arguments ), then decided upon crystal jade. 1st time i suggested chinese food haha. The beef brisket noodles are nice, and the fried toufu with salt and pepper is awesome, crisp on the outside and jelly like on the inside. After that, stoned around deciding on the events for the next couple of days before going home at 11, early, not making use of the night.

Ok, i'll vanish

To affect the quality of the day, that is the highest of arts. Every man is tasked to make his life, even in its details, worthy of the contemplation of his most elevated and critical hour. - Henry David Thoreau

Peace, quiet

Sunset

Pitch black

Live for the night

It echoes your heart

Freedom, but not from yourself

flow through me