Great, wonderful

So we have covered all the subjects except econs. Own personal feeling, physics today was easier as compared to maths and chem thus far. That is my PERSONAL feeling about things so yea, if you have been topping the class usually for chem and maths, do not start pointing fingers at me. This is also not meant to be a reflection of my results yea. Got news from my friend that its 40 more days ( i havent been following haha ). Ok after prelims, i am putting it up here on record now. I AM FREAKING GOING TO START STUDYING!, from the week after the prelim exam onwards. Starting with my freaking gp. At the current rate, i will end up getting Ds and Cs. I know i am smart ( screw me for being arrogant i dont care ). i BELIEVE that i am intelligent. Its the willpower to put in the effort to achieve what you want that scares me. Results will be what you are judged on, hell if i dont get them.

Kwek's got the class ( most of the guys that are online anyway ) hooked on russell peters youtube videos. They are hilariously funny. wasted 3 hours so far in total on them. The pain in my foot hasnt gone away in the sense that, well its ok when i am sitting there not standing on my foot. LIke now when i am typing this. Starts to hurt after like a 5 minute walk, or when playing badminton (duh!).

For all star wars fans out there, check out 'the force unleashed' new video game to be out on xbox 360, ps3 and wii. Used digital molecular matter technology, same thing halo 3 used i think to realistically model the physics of the game. Graphics and gameplay seems to be good. Might get one for that wii at grandma's house. Imagine wielding a virtual lightsabre and watching your actions reflected on the screen. Price should be steep though.

Ok, talk about feelings now. I hate it when people start judging you not on what you have done or anything but based upon their perception and stuff. Its utterly stupid. All you readers, tell me you dont get irritated when someone accusing you of being a slacker when you are mugging hard, how would you feel? ( Not that i am mugging hard ). Then sometimes while you try your best to be accomodating and stuff towards others especially your 'friends', when they are not having a great day. Well not that its a drag or whatever, but yea you WANT to be accomodating because well you do care about people, your friends, your relations. But ( Never start a sentence with but but screw it ) even so well when you get shit's worth of appreciation. Isnt that just great? Any of you wanna unload all your crap on me, yea why not? But dont for a moment think that everything is about yourself, i have my own problems, i have my own feelings yea. Or maybe yup after crapping on me you go well, at least you are there for me to crap on, thanks. I dont give a shit, but if its like 'get lost' to me after getting crapped on. Heck pisses me off. No relation between human beings should be only bout one person trying to please another. Yes i am overbearing sometimes but too bad ITS ME, my life. Everyone out there who thinks i am guai lan, i WONT change it. ( Kwek's level is higher though ). My 2 cents worth. Btw i am NOT emoing

Wonderful, ruined my night. I swear i will run to selatar reservior tomorrow night to vent some steam.

AHHHH

I did the worst chem paper today, in my long sad history of bad chem papers ( adapted it from somewhere ). Like boom! 1 whole question out of 4 undone. The only time i did that was in secondary school for geography - i got an A1 still :P but thats not the point - plus alot of blanks everywhere. Feels alot worse than mid years, because mid years those that i didnt know how to do at least i have a vague idea of teacher going through it in class or something but i wasnt paying attention and thus couldnt answer. This time, look at question 1 ( for those of u taking chem in NYJC ). Like what the hell was it talking about!

I still cant find that adidas sunglasses i want in Singapore, It better not cost more than 200 bucks or i will bug my dad to get me a credit card and buy it online. Its only SG$180 ++ online.

My leg is really acting weird, it hurts when i am walking, but the hurting does not feel like it is due to the walking. At home it dont seem so bad, maybe because i am either on my seat, bed or the couch. Starts acting up whenever i go to school, no joke. Its doesnt seem to be the shoes either. Have it while wearing my slippers to badminton the other day. Argh! be gone.

Cherry pickings

I am so darn tired and i still have to contend with this. Extremely irritated at some people now. If you ever give someone your word, you are expected to be held to it. You do not back out at the last instant because of some frivolous reason. The irony that it was not my responsibility in the 1st place. If i didnt have my contacts, we will all be screwed yea. Needs to be more organised. When i talk to someone, i treat them as an individual, i do not care if you have a bf/gf or ur mom beside you or whatever, but you do not involve them in this. It is a personal matter, do not be an idiot. Grr, havent been so pissed in a long time. I dont mean sadness, being disappointed or 'emo'. I refer to pure unadulterated anger. Could tear someone apart now.

I need to improve, its not fast enough. Top 200, gonna push my body through hell, if anything goes wrong, so be it.

I still have to wake up early tomorrow morning, haiz, where is the justice in this.

my chance is not within my means, alone

( too tired to source for quotes )

Its tricky

Woke up at 8 o'clock on a SATURDAY ( i can sleep to 2pm if i had nothing on and i slept the the previous night, just go ask my mom ) to go to NTU at boon lay, BOON LAY for the 112 km thing i am going for next weekend, with a few of my male classmates, namely gab, jc, hh, jh, gh and wh. Took 52 form bishan to jurong east interchange, 1 hour. trip from jurong to boonlay, 20 minutes, bus from boonlay to NTU 15 minutes, got lost and walked to our destination, 20 mins. Guess what, wasted all this time to attend a 15 MINUTES briefing. Crazy man. Thats not even counting the return trip. They did not even distribute the event singlet like they said they were going to because of some problems with the printer of the singlets. Screwed up. Ok, its going to be a round island cycling trip, taking bout 10 to 12 hours, starting at 6am in the morning ( not sure ). Checkpoints are at East Coast, West Coast, NTU, Kranji, Yishun, Serangoon, Changi, and back to East Coast. Did i miss out any? You readers can infer the route lol. Going to be hell lots of fun. After that the people who went, me, wh, gab and hh went to jurong point, ate lots of macs due to me bringing coupons that gave them free items if they bought the extra value meal. gab and wh took macflurry, me and hh took nuggets. Full brunch ( i skipped breakfast as usual ), then chionged arcade. Blew 7 bucks each, between me and hh on a new dinosaur shooter game. Damn fun, and gab was controling our movements in the game lol. So all 3 of us kind of played at the same time. Rushed home after that.

Uncle came to pick me up at around 4 for a trip to the new bridges at south east of singapore. Parked at telok blangah, walked all the way to hortpark with my cousin and their parents. Quite tiring but fun haha. The view from henderson bridge is magnificent. Hope can find the time to go back there again and walk the entire distance to west coast park. Along the way, some idiot decided to put a mentos into my water bottle. It dissolved and now my nike water bottle insides are coated with a layer of sticky mentos essence after i empted the water. nice job.

I swear i'll get my physics SPA done by tomorrow, no more time to lose.

The moon have been looking great these few days haha, If you have the chance, do glance upwards once in awhile and admire its beauty.

GP on friday, hiaz. When people have expectations, u have to try your best to live up to them lol. Yet, on hindsight, i felt i chose the wrong question, because its darn tricky. "Never think that war, no matter how necessary nor justified, is not a crime'. Do you agree? I mean, if it is justified, then it cannot be considered a crime right? Dunno lah, may luck befall me. AQ was crappy as usual, hate the short time they give us to write an argument, and why the hell do all AQs have to be relevant to your society, ie. Singapore. Speaking of which, yay, we got pedra branca haha.

I think i am in need of a break, but then i havent really been studying. Nope not very much at all. Its paradoxical, i am hoping for a break this holidays yet i am wishing that i dont get any, for taking a rest means less time to catch up on work way behind. confused. GSS is on, hope to get my music/video player and some wadrobe refreshments during this period, if i can spare the time. Oh and i need a pencil case before the mid years damnit.

Long post haha, take your time sorry to make you read all these, if you actually bothered lol

I am not going to make the same mistake twice.

In this uncertain space between birth and death … we need hope as surely as we need food and water, love and friendship. The trick, however, is to remember that hope is a perilous thing, that it's not a steel and concrete bridge across the void between this moment and a brighter future. Hope is no stronger than tremulous beads of dew strung on a filament of spider web, and it alone can't long support the terrible weight of an anguished mind and a tortured heart - T.G.S.R. ( no idea who the hell or what the hell is T.G.S.R. )

Dead beat

How do i put today in words haha, horrendous doesnt quite fit it. An understatement in fact. Lets give all my dear readers a roundup.

Today was be yourself day for our school. Due to certain complication that arose, me and mings didnt wear our cat high uniform. Last chance to don the green shorts and metal buttoned shirt and i blew it. Great job chuen hwee. 10 years studying in a certain school does make u feel a certain attachment to it, regardless of whether u like the school or not. I wish i had the courage to just go against what miss hazel told mings bout registering but i didnt. I wish i had the courage to convince all old boys to wear it. I wished that i did not had to care whether anyone else wore the uniform and just wear it. I feel so let down, of all things, by myself. To some of you, this may seem foolish or trivial, but to me, it is not. I think mings might share the same feeling?.

Gotten an obscenely bad score form the chem test returned at assembly. Mrs Lim didnt bother to mark any of the diagrams and stuff that i drew in pencil. I would have still failed but, but at least a more decent score. Cant blame her, if i do that for A levels, i'll also screw myself. Was practically machine-guned during chem tutorials and the physics practical lessons. The bullet holes should appear any moment now. Ok i'm being lame. -_-". Chem extra lessons, followed by 'no end' with jiacheng and weiliang ( do refer to my previous posts if you wanna know what 'no end' is about ). Also found out that every thursday i have to stay back at 3.30 with the rest of the chem failures for chemistry related stuff. Wednesday i am also down after school with soccer people in Mrs Lim's class. Gotta respect her man, although i've given her shitloads of crap, she still havent given up on me. Appreciate that, will work hard to repay that during the midyears. The fact that this practices are meant to be good for you doesnt mean i have to like them.

Got 2 econs essay, tons of chem worksheets, 2 maths tutorials to complete, and chemistry SPA A to memorise during the weekends, all due at varying times next week. Oh and i did not clear the 'no end' thing, so monday will have to report at 8am for another session. Finally left school at 7pm today. I am so mentally drained, and tired. I really should be sleeping now, but dont feel like. Good thing my CCA commitments are over. If not, i'll turn suicidal or something come the mid years.

Nope, i shant blame anyone, including myself. Pull the act together and get going. Even the food today was awful. had vegetarian noodles at 10am, then a cup noodle at 5. Thats all i ate in school. Measly by my standards. Bad, bad day. Haiz. Just realised that all the todays in this post should be yesterdays instead. Glad that there are people who are enjoying themselves. The world would really suck if everyone is feeling down together haha.

Isit that hard?, am i that unworthy?

We waste time looking for the perfect lover, instead of creating the perfect love. - Tom Robbins

Football and early dismissal tomorrow

Well, lets put it on record shall we I SCORED MY 1ST GOAL FOR THE SOCCER TEAM :D. haha, been waiting a long time for that, at least now i can claim to have at least contributed a goal. Not a glamourous goal, but a goal still. Kinda threw my whole head and body at the ball in a sort of weird diving header and forced the ball over the line. It kinda rolled over the line ( form my side view lying on the ground ). Not a bad time too, trailing 1-0 at injury time of the 2nd half after we conceded like within less than a minute in the 1st half. Had no idea what coach had in mind or expected me to do when he threw me into the fray with around 15 / 10 minutes remaining, but well it worked, didnt it. plaudits to the team, who was wonderful despite trailing for like the whole game. We deserved to at least draw, if not win. Hmm, finally felt what its like to score a goal, not bad.... Btw we played SAJC ( national 4th last year ).

Tomorrow was supposed to be early dismissal for NYJC-ians and me ( note the use of the word was ). But the econs department, with all due respect, kinda derailed my plans for a free afternoon. we get dismissed at 1.30 with econs lecture having been brought forward. And to top it all off, wednesday training is brought forward to tomorrow, just perfect ( hints of sarcasm ). There goes my tuesday.

Now, shall blog on the book which is also mentioned on Soh Ee's blog and graciously lent to me by Cindy. Its "I Believe You" by Low Kay Hwa. Its a short romance story, abit intrigued by it cos Soh Ee described it on her blog and so i borrowed it from Cindy. Will not put up spoilers here haha, but it is worth a read, if any of you are looking for some not too tedious reading materials. It is touching, but maybe a little too perfect. Things just do not occur by this process in reality. If things were that sweet, and that easy, wouldnt it be too easy to make someone fall in love with you? No, life's more complicated than that. And also although a nice perfect happy ending would be what most people hope for, i couldnt help but feel a less ideal ending would suit the mood of the book more, haha call me evil but... All in all, i have to admit that when reading the book, i do feel a tinge of sadness for the protaganists in the story, so in that the book has achieved its purpose, in influencing its reader. It is a nice book, a worthwhile read.

I will have choices,
but in the end
it still boils down
to a singularity.

Enjoy,
love is a simple thing. It's either you love, or you don't. You can try everything, almost everything to prevent yourself from loving, but it all boils down to this: Either you love or you don't. . . Doesn't matter how long the love lasts. You'll be contented once you know you were in love before. - Grandma from "I Believe You" by Low Kay Hwa

Progress?

What i have done so far for the block tests.
1) Read through all that is required for chem ( not memorise! )
2) organise my physics and maths notes ( i.e. put them in a place where i dont have to dig through my entire history of notes to find them, and filled in the blanks )
3) Read through abit of physics

Use all your well honed GP skills and infer. I think i am in for a shitload of crap when taking the block tests. Speaking of GP and by extension english, WHY DONT NANYANG OFFER H2 ENGLISH LANGUAGE. haiz, my subject combi would be so different from now if nanyang offered that subject. Also was made aware of the fact that none of the subjects i am taking now are theoratically my strong subjects. meaning i didnt get an A1 for any of them. Should have staked my future on my humanities instead. At least the humanities allow for a certain limit for personal expression, and the potential for the usage of ur well of general knowledge. Nope, wont be regretting it

For the 2nd day in a row was stuck at a busstop with rain pouring down all around me. 1st was on wednesday, after i went to YC's house to borrow is physics notes to fill up the blanks in mine, and today was again stuck at busstop waiting for bus to go meet the soccer guys at amk.

Could it be you, cascada
frog rocks ( hey it rhymes ^_^ )
I'll deliver when it matters, and it doesnt...yet